brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Still dying that you shit outside
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Randomize
