can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
