you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
