I'm gonna have a badass scar
At least make sure they are 18
Why
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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