What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
