Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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