We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
