Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
she peed on how many people?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
