did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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