All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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