i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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