at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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