Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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