It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
