Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
