Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
dude. I can hear the air.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
