No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
of course. lets lasso hookers.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
