I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
