i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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