well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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