The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Girls should come with a carfax report
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
