i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
not ubering you a puppy
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
