I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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