I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
