So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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