were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
