Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
