I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
they call him Oral-B. enough said
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
He did a backflip because drugs
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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