I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
fuck your aforementioned shoe
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize