her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
