how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
