He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
