Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
