1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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