Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
