I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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