How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
