You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
