may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
