I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
