she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
