Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
