have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
