He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
We're too hungover to prance.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
