just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
