My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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