i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Dignity is for republicans.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I think a kid would responsible me up
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
