Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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