Michael Bay diarrhea
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize