Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
