Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Randomize