I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
