She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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