who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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