Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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