Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
