How'd it feel making her break her religion?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
