is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
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