Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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