so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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