I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
