it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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