I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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