Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
NoShamevember. You game?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
