Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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