let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
You have to summon your inner elephant
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
