I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
