My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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