why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
