i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Randomize