Where did you get a picture of my penis
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
That was an excessively violent trivia night
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
