Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
