Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
