Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
